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The frost exploding trees moon

The rime of Johannes Hoarfrost: December 6, 2022

by Johannes Hoarfrost
December 19, 2022
in Columns, Satire
0

At six o’clock this morning, December 6, when the big river was at its exact lowest tide, the dawn was hidden by a skyfull of clouds/ Darkness remained, heavy and quiet.

The weather is a single degree above freezing, but through some trick of the morning it feels warmer than that. Anyone who has lived next to the ocean will recognize the 77 percent beach humidity in the air, and will become disoriented listening for the sound of crashing waves.

From the Rondout in Kingston, the closest real beach — not counting such riverine places as Kingston Point —  is 123 miles away. The Long Island Sound doesn’t count. Driving through New Jersey may shave off a few miles, but anyone who does so deserves to pay the toll crossing the George Washington Bridge into New York City.

There will be a high of 48° today, but even after the sun sets the temperature will keep rising until it reaches 51°. It will stay there all the night long.

Rain is expected to begin after the noon hour

For the mountain forecast, we go out to Bjorn Jorgensen out at Belleayre Mountain.

Bjorn, what can you tell us?

Bjorn: I have made peace with the lack of snow, Johannes. And actually I am quite excited. As you must know, tomorrow night will be quite something.

Johannes: What can we expect, Bjorn, a meteor shower?

Bjorn: No, no showers. It is the last full moon before the solstice, and so the Yule festivities are getting quite close. The Cree call it the Hoar Frost Moon, Johannes, like your last name. They also call it the Frost Exploding Trees Moon, which I quite like. But what you’ll want to know is that the people who lived along the river called it, the Long Night Moon.

Johannes: The Mohicans did?

Bjorn: I don’t think you’re spelling that right, but yes. They called the river you live next to the Mahicanituck.

Johannes: You’re just full of facts today, Bjorn. Well, the tourist Henry Hudson was a bastard, and may he rot at the bottom of the river. They never found his body. What we really need to find, though, is the weather, Bjorn.

Bjorn: It is well above freezing up at the summit. Very uncharacteristic for this time of year.

Johannes: Fluctuations, Bjorn. What can you do?

Bjorn: For the night to be so warm, though, this means you will not be tethered to a fire. And the heat of the grog will not be so necessary. But that’s not why to drink it.

Johannes: Big doings out at Belleayre. Fantastic, Bjorn.

Belleayre would like it known there are more than 20 ski runs currently operational and ski- or snowboard-ready, covered in snow produced by snow guns. Bjorn does not count In his report, Bjorn does not count snow unless it falls out of the sky/

Back in the Rondout, just before 7:10 a.m., the sunrise has finally arrived, between the miles of clouds and the earth. A deep red stripe across the horizon looks like the sullen fire behind a furnace window. Sunset is at 4:26 a.m.

Check out other columns from this series.

Tags: hoarfrost almanacmembers
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Johannes Hoarfrost

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Weather

Kingston, NY
75°
Partly Cloudy
5:33 am8:11 pm EDT
Feels like: 75°F
Wind: 6mph S
Humidity: 69%
Pressure: 29.79"Hg
UV index: 0
FriSatSun
77°F / 61°F
79°F / 55°F
70°F / 50°F
powered by Weather Atlas

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