fbpx
  • Subscribe & Support
  • Print Edition
    • Get Home Delivery
    • Read ePaper Online
    • Newsstand Locations
  • HV1 Magazines
  • Contact
    • Advertise
    • Submit Your Event
    • Customer Support
    • Submit A News Tip
    • Send Letter to the Editor
    • Where’s My Paper?
  • Our Newsletters
  • Manage HV1 Account
  • Free HV1 Trial
Hudson Valley One
  • News
    • Schools
    • Business
    • Sports
    • Crime
    • Politics & Government
  • What’s UP
    • Calendar Of Events
    • Subscribe to the What’s UP newsletter
  • Opinion
    • Letters
    • Columns
  • Local
    • Special Sections
    • Local History
  • Marketplace
    • All Classified Ads
    • Post a Classified Ad
  • Obituaries
  • Log Out
No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • Schools
    • Business
    • Sports
    • Crime
    • Politics & Government
  • What’s UP
    • Calendar Of Events
    • Subscribe to the What’s UP newsletter
  • Opinion
    • Letters
    • Columns
  • Local
    • Special Sections
    • Local History
  • Marketplace
    • All Classified Ads
    • Post a Classified Ad
  • Obituaries
  • Log Out
No Result
View All Result
Hudson Valley One
No Result
View All Result

Stormy Weather Daily

The rime of Johannes Hoarfrost: December 5, 2022

by Johannes Hoarfrost
December 19, 2022
in Columns, Satire
0

Ulster County, good morning.

It’s 5:45 a.m. in the Rondout. The temperature is currently 24°, but will climb to a high of 44° around three o’clock, when the moon, 95 percent full, rises. The sky is clear. A wind so faint it can be forgotten blows out of the south.

Here in the darkness before dawn, the light at the rim of the sky is nothing more than a suggestion. Astronomical twilight, when the sun is 18 degrees below the horizon.

The sunrise catches fire at 7:09 a.m., when that hot star will continue its transit through the constellation Sagittarius.

Low tide has passed. Boats on the river drift on a slack tide before it turns once again and the saltwater starts pushing back in. The first high tide peaks at 11:23 a.m.

For the snow report, now we go to Bjorn Jorgensen out at Belleayre. Bjorn, how does the mountain find you?

Bjorn: The mountain is pensive today. Why do we strive, Johannes? Out of our warm beds on bare feet, out into the cold of winter with our steaming breath. Scalded by the moonlight. Though the ground is like petrified wood, still we dig. Still we build. Even the forest has to eat.

Johannes: Yes, Bjorn. All those trees. Is there any wind on the summit today?

Bjorn: Well, there is the kind of wind that picks up the surface of the snow and blows it around. A wind of trickery and mischief.  Where there is any snow.

Johannes: And has any snow fallen?

Bjorn: Sadly, no. Not for days. Where there should be snow, there is only night and fog. The skis I have carved will have to wait.

Johannes: But Bjorn, if the clouds aren’t producing, the snow guns surely are. Snow like freshly brushed corduroy.

Bjorn: It’s not the same.

Johannes: Always the purist.

Dusk begins at 4:26 p.m., and night falls shortly thereafter. Behind the frail wind, rain is forecast for the week, but not today.

Check out other columns from this series.

Tags: hoarfrost almanacmembers
Join the family! Grab a free month of HV1 from the folks who have brought you substantive local news since 1972. We made it 50 years thanks to support from readers like you. Help us keep real journalism alive.
- Geddy Sveikauskas, Publisher

Johannes Hoarfrost

Related Posts

This week’s total eclipse
Columns

Science from your car

July 8, 2025
Blue: Your favorite color
Columns

Blue: Your favorite color

June 24, 2025
How we see each other and ourselves
Columns

How we see each other and ourselves

June 16, 2025
Suddenly summer
Columns

Suddenly summer

June 11, 2025
Outer space clickbait
Columns

Outer space clickbait

June 11, 2025
What the newspapers said 100 years ago
Columns

What the newspapers said 100 years ago

June 2, 2025
Next Post
The Village of Saugerties shares the spirit of the season (photos)

The Village of Saugerties shares the spirit of the season (photos)

Weather

Kingston, NY
88°
Partly Cloudy
5:28 am8:34 pm EDT
Feels like: 91°F
Wind: 2mph SE
Humidity: 51%
Pressure: 29.97"Hg
UV index: 8
ThuFriSat
84°F / 68°F
86°F / 70°F
86°F / 68°F
Kingston, NY 10 days weather forecast ▸

Subscribe

Independent. Local. Substantive. Subscribe now.

×
We've expanded coverage and need your support. Subscribe now for unlimited access -- free article(s) remain for the month.
View Subscription Offers Sign In
  • Subscribe & Support
  • Print Edition
  • HV1 Magazines
  • Contact
  • Our Newsletters
  • Manage HV1 Account
  • Free HV1 Trial

© 2022 Ulster Publishing

No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • Schools
    • Business
    • Sports
    • Crime
    • Politics & Government
  • What’s Happening
    • Calendar Of Events
    • Art
    • Books
    • Kids
    • Lifestyle & Wellness
    • Food & Drink
    • Music
    • Nature
    • Stage & Screen
  • Opinions
    • Letters
    • Columns
  • Local
    • Special Sections
    • Local History
  • Marketplace
    • All Classified Ads
    • Post a Classified Ad
  • Obituaries
  • Subscribe & Support
  • Contact Us
    • Customer Support
    • Advertise
    • Submit A News Tip
  • Print Edition
    • Read ePaper Online
    • Newsstand Locations
    • Where’s My Paper
  • HV1 Magazines
  • Manage HV1 Account
  • Log In
  • Free HV1 Trial
  • Subscribe to Our Newsletters
    • Hey Kingston
    • New Paltz Times
    • Woodstock Times
    • Week in Review

© 2022 Ulster Publishing