I’ve been quiet about this, because saying it out loud still doesn’t feel real.
A month ago On April 14th, my mom Kyra Lasting passed away at age 53.
She spent so much of her life helping others—especially people in recovery. She had a heart for the broken, the struggling, the ones trying to claw their way back. She showed up, time and time again, for people who felt like no one else would.
But the part that breaks me is this: She never found that same freedom for herself.
She carried her own pain, heavy and silent. She wanted healing. She tried—God, she tried. But some battles run deep, and some healing never fully arrives.
Our relationship wasn’t easy. It was full of love, hurt, distance, and complicated history. But she was my mom. And her loss has opened something raw and aching in me.
She loved sunflowers. They remind me to keep facing the light, even when its hard to find. I hold onto that now, when the grief creeps in. That quiet kind of strength—the choice to grow, even in the dark.
I miss her. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m still trying to process a thousand feelings I don’t have words for.
If you’ve ever lost someone to a fight they couldn’t win, or loved someone through their pain—my heart is with you.
If you’re still in your own battle, please stay. Your life matters more than you know.
Take care of each other. Say the words. Forgive when you can. Love while you have the chance.
I’m not gonna make it to the burial for you although I don’t want you to think it’s because I don’t care because I do. We just have a lot of things going on in our lives right now and I know that you wouldn’t want us to put that on hold or be anxious to miss something that Alex needs more than we do.
I’m lucky to be able to hold a piece of you close to me I’m lucky that I am also a part of you in a way and that’s why I don’t feel like I need to be there but this doesn’t mean that we don’t love you or care about you or miss you any less. We think about you every day so I hope that one day I get to see you in a place more beautiful, but until then I have a job that isn’t finished down here. Again I love you to the moon and back and I’ll see you later.
Good morning, momma. It’s about 5:29 in the morning. It’s a Wednesday and I’m headed to work There’s some things going on in our lives right now and then we really wish that you were here so that way we could tell you. You’re gonna be a Grandma times three. Chris should be having his baby soon. Nathan will be having one in a few months and I’m due in January right around your birthday. We think about you a lot, and although you’re gonna get these messages I feel like I’m talking to you in a way. I just wanted to let you know that I’m gonna do some good today because it’s what you would’ve wanted me to do and that your memory is not forgotten with me. I love you to the moon and back. I’ll see you later.
— Zoe and Haley
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