For the next couple of weeks, we’re going to be inundated with advertising reminding us that we should be thinking about how to treat our sweethearts on Valentine’s Day. It may be a fun holiday for those who are happily paired off or courting someone, but for others, the annual drumbeat of hearts and flowers can feel annoying or oppressive.
What if you’ve recently been bereaved of your longtime partner, or you’re in the throes of a divorce, or you’re a victim of domestic violence or otherwise can’t wait to get out of an unhappy marriage? What if you’re perpetually unlucky in love, or don’t currently have a partner or a prospect? Talk of Valentines might be a downright downer for you. Or maybe you’re simply “ace” or “aro” and aren’t at all interested.
In fact, if the sting of a breakup is still fresh in your mind, the mere thought of sending a bouquet or box of chocolates to that horrible, narcissistic, gaslighting ex of yours might inspire some elaborate vengeance fantasies. Our advice: Hold off on the actual poison. Take the artform of passive/aggressive behavior to new heights (or depths) by getting your revenge in a subtler way that no one will know about but you. Since it involves a contribution to a worthy local charity, our method even mitigates any bad karma that might otherwise flow into the lightless void of your vengeance-craving soul.
Yes, we’re talking about the Town of Saugerties Animal Shelter’s second annual Not-So-Sweet Valentine’s Day Fundraiser. It’s time to have your crappy ex’s name inscribed in permanent marker on the bottom of a litter box for the shelter cats to defecate and urinate all over. All it takes is a donation of as little as $5. You can barely find a greeting card or a decent chocolate bar for less than that nowadays, let alone a bunch of flowers artfully arranged.
Here’s the Shelter’s pitch: “Not feeling very romantic this Valentine’s Day? We’ve got the purrfect way for you to celebrate. Litter pans are primed, our Sharpies are ready and the kitties are set to ‘go’! For a $5 donation you can send us your ex’s (or just someone who deserves it) name and we will write it in our cats’ litter pans! The kitties will happily take care of the rest.”
You heard that right: The name can be of anyone you deem crapworthy. It doesn’t actually have to be a romantic partner who dumped you and now deserves dumping in return. You might decide that a current or former boss, lousy parent or irritating neighbor might be the most appropriate recipient of feline attention of the malodorous kind. The organizers aren’t even ruling out public figures such as your least-favorite politician. “We’re not here to judge. If you want to put the name there, we’ll do it,” says Shelter manager Morgan Bach. “After all, the money goes to the animals.”
The idea for these “Crappy Ex” fundraisers first hit the airwaves early in 2022. The New York Daily News credited the Humane Society of the Waterville Area in Maine as the originator of the concept, and the idea quickly caught on. The Waterville group simply wrote the submitted names on small slips of paper and mixed them in with the kitty litter, however. In Saugerties, your gift will keep on giving until the name wears off the plastic.
“We saw it online somewhere, and then took it and made it our own,” Bach relates. “It went almost viral online. Our posts got hundreds, maybe thousands of shares all over the country, even the world. We had some people submitting names from the UK, France, all over.” Last year’s inaugural Not-So-Sweet Valentine’s Day Fundraiser earned the Saugerties Animal Shelter about $5,000 – which means lots of names to be abused, even if many of the donations were for more than the $5 minimum. “We fit as many names in a pan as we can.”
This particular fundraiser, whose proceeds mainly go toward veterinary care for the shelter animals, runs until “technically February 14,” according to Bach, although late submissions will not be refused. To participate, you can make your donation through PayPal @sawf2020 or Venmo @sawfsas, mail a check to Town of Saugerties Animal Shelter, 1765 Route 212, Saugerties NY 12477 or drop it off in person between 9 a.m. and 3 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday. Be sure to include the name you want written in a litter box in the note section.
The Shelter is also still in the midst of a capital campaign to rebuild its headquarters on the grounds of the Saugerties Transfer Station, with groundbreaking expected during the 2023 construction season, Bach says. “The trees are coming down; the site’s going to be cleared. We’ve fundraised enough that we can move forward and get building actually going this year.”
To follow the Building Fund’s progress or learn how to go about adopting a Shelter pet, visit www.saugertiesanimalshelter.com or www.facebook.com/townofsaugertiesanimalshelter.
Join the family! 
