fbpx
  • Subscribe & Support
  • Print Edition
    • Get Home Delivery
    • Read ePaper Online
    • Newsstand Locations
  • HV1 Magazines
  • Contact
    • Advertise
    • Customer Support
    • Submit A News Tip
    • Where’s My Paper?
  • Subscribe to Our Newsletters
    • Hey Kingston
    • New Paltz Times
    • Woodstock Times
    • Week in Review
  • Manage HV1 Account
  • Free HV1 Trial
Hudson Valley One
  • News
    • Schools
    • Business
    • Sports
    • Crime
    • Politics & Government
  • What’s Happening
    • Calendar Of Events
    • Featured Events
      • Art
      • Books
      • Kids
      • Lifestyle & Wellness
      • Food & Drink
      • Music
      • Nature
      • Stage & Screen
  • Opinions
    • Letters
    • Columns
    • Editorials
  • Local
    • Special Sections
    • Local History
  • Marketplace
    • All Classified Ads
    • Help Wanted
    • Post a Classified Ad
  • Obituaries
  • Log In
No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • Schools
    • Business
    • Sports
    • Crime
    • Politics & Government
  • What’s Happening
    • Calendar Of Events
    • Featured Events
      • Art
      • Books
      • Kids
      • Lifestyle & Wellness
      • Food & Drink
      • Music
      • Nature
      • Stage & Screen
  • Opinions
    • Letters
    • Columns
    • Editorials
  • Local
    • Special Sections
    • Local History
  • Marketplace
    • All Classified Ads
    • Help Wanted
    • Post a Classified Ad
  • Obituaries
  • Log In
No Result
View All Result
Hudson Valley One
No Result
View All Result

Point of view: Macrame in the White House

by Barbara Pokras
January 14, 2021
in Op-ed, Voices
0
Bernie Sanders (photo by Phyllis McCabe)
Bernie Sanders (photo by Phyllis McCabe)

Inauguration day was really exciting for Bernie, Jane and the gaggle of children and grandchildren. The day was brisk, chilly but not unbearably so. Jane made a batch of pot brownies, just to take the edge off. She and Bernie partook in the staging area, washing the confections down with chamomile tea. Jane had an especially hard time choosing an outfit.

She settled on a multi-colored caftan from the local Good Will. It seemed to flatter her frame; best of all, she didn’t have to wear a bra or panty hose, and her Birkenstocks were so comfy with her handmade nubby wool socks. Anyway, the crowds might be distracted by her backpack. She was still working on their 2016 taxes and thought she might have time to get back to it after the ceremony. She glanced at the outgoing First Lady.  Michelle wore a chic little sleeveless number. Jane sighed, wishing she could vanquish her own upper arms.

Bernie wore his Nehru jacket, tie dyed shirt and bell bottoms. The shirt had special meaning. It was the first, handmade gift from Jane before they were married. An “Ankh” on a bulky, gold neck chain completed the look.

The ceremony went off without a hitch until the Justice asked Bernie to place his hand on the bible and swear allegiance to the United States of America. Bernie hesitated for just a moment. “Let me be perfectly clear,” he pronounced, after clearing his throat. “I am the President of ALL the people. The King James Bible represents the one percent! King James? Fooey! This is the PEOPLE’S revolution! Where’s the Koran? Where’s the Bhagavad Gita? Why isn’t there a menorah? Not that I’m a practicing Jew…even the Pope knows that!”

A murmur rose up from the crowd, and then a chorus of, “Bernie! Bernie! Bernie!” The Justice sighed. He replaced the bible with the final issue of the Whole Earth Catalog. Bernie beamed. The crowd shrieked with joy.

Hillary, standing nearby, couldn’t help snickering. She shot Bernie a penetrating look. It struck its target; Bernie flinched, feeling a jolt of laser-like heat on the nape of his neck. Jane was fully prepared for such an assault and whipped a smudge stick, deftly lit it and waved it toward her beloved. The effect was instant. Bernie was enveloped in an impenetrable shield of auric protection.

Hilary was undeterred. “Revolution, indeed!” she thought. “Let him try to get anything passed!” She thought about Putin, the Middle East, all Bernie’s grand plans. She thought about Congress, and the Senate. And then she thought about Bernie’s choice for V.P. She couldn’t entirely disagree with it, but she wasn’t confident that Bill Maher had the experience to take over in the event of Bernie’s demise. She knew Bernie didn’t waste his time on trivia, like pop culture magazines and newspapers, but shouldn’t he have known? She snickered. Bill Cosby was a terrible choice for Secretary of Education.

During the debates, Hillary secretly thought Bernie might stroke out. With his red face and blueish lips, he seemed close to blowing a gasket. Anyway, it didn’t really matter. She and Bill were busy planning their new life in the Cayman Islands, where they could protect their fortunes.

The parties began shortly after the swearing in ceremony. Bernie and Jane seldom went out dancing, but they still remembered how to do the Twist and loved the song, “The Mashed Potato.” Before the parties, Jane spent some time conversing with the White House chefs. They weren’t familiar with tofu or alfalfa sprouts, and they were amazed when they learned the many uses for nutritional yeast. Initially resisting, they finally agreed to take on Jane’s recipe for chocolate chip loaded cookies after Bernie agreed to give them immunity from prosecution.

Invigorated by the celebrations, the couple awoke to their first day in office. The bed was comfortable enough, but they preferred sleeping on the floor in their L.L. Bean sleeping bags. And they really weren’t used to lights at night. They always cut their power off at 9 p.m., to save money. Just before “lights out,” Bernie serenaded Jane with his guitar rendition of “Where have all the Flowers Gone.”

 

Barbara Pokras is a Saugerties resident.

Join the family! Grab a free month of HV1 from the folks who have brought you substantive local news since 1972. We made it 50 years thanks to support from readers like you. Help us keep real journalism alive.
- Geddy Sveikauskas, Publisher
Previous Post

Meet Phillies Bridge Farm’s new farm manager Heather Wodehouse

Next Post

Gibson passes on run for governor

Barbara Pokras

Related Posts

Elting Library Fair, cannabis, 911 and more letters from our readers
Letters

Elting Library Fair, cannabis, 911 and more letters from our readers

September 20, 2023
Opening bell
Columns

The first day of school

September 15, 2023
Lawn signs, DA race, synthetic turf and more letters from our readers
Letters

Lawn signs, DA race, synthetic turf and more letters from our readers

September 17, 2023
Photo wrongly links landlord with declining property
Op-ed

Woodstock housing committee’s response to Bennet Ratcliff’s housing comments

September 12, 2023
Sturgeon Pond Hydro-Electric Dam, Bartlett pears, the steamship Minnewaska and more from the headlines 100 years ago
Columns

Sturgeon Pond Hydro-Electric Dam, Bartlett pears, the steamship Minnewaska and more from the headlines 100 years ago

September 14, 2023
Secrets of the upcoming eclipses
Columns

Secrets of the upcoming eclipses

September 12, 2023
Next Post

Gibson passes on run for governor

Trending News

  • Famous hairstylist taking appointments at mini-festival in Kingston this weekend 1k views
  • Smoking marijuana could become illegal again in many New York areas 0.9k views
  • Alleged overcrowding on a morning BOCES bus has Saugerties parents up in arms 880 views
  • Legendary rock royalty performs in Woodstock this weekend 732 views
  • Gilberto Nunez, Kingston dentist acquitted of murder but convicted on other charges, set loose 571 views
  • Woodstock seeks righteous zip-code annexation  559 views

Weather

Kingston
◉
55°
Cloudy
6:47 am6:47 pm EDT
Feels like: 52°F
Wind: 9mph N
Humidity: 85%
Pressure: 30.39"Hg
UV index: 1
WedThuFri
68/46°F
68/52°F
64/55°F
Weather forecast Kingston, New York ▸

Subscribe

Independent. Local. Substantive. Subscribe now.

  • Subscribe & Support
  • Print Edition
  • HV1 Magazines
  • Contact
  • Subscribe to Our Newsletters
  • Manage HV1 Account
  • Free HV1 Trial

© 2022 Ulster Publishing

No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • Schools
    • Business
    • Sports
    • Crime
    • Politics & Government
  • What’s Happening
    • Calendar Of Events
    • Featured Events
      • Art
      • Books
      • Kids
      • Lifestyle & Wellness
      • Food & Drink
      • Music
      • Nature
      • Stage & Screen
  • Opinions
    • Letters
    • Columns
    • Editorials
  • Local
    • Special Sections
    • Local History
  • Marketplace
    • All Classified Ads
    • Help Wanted
    • Post a Classified Ad
  • Obituaries
  • Subscribe & Support
  • Contact Us
    • Customer Support
    • Advertise
    • Submit A News Tip
  • Print Edition
    • Read ePaper Online
    • Newsstand Locations
    • Where’s My Paper
  • HV1 Magazines
  • Manage HV1 Account
  • Log In
  • Free HV1 Trial
  • Subscribe to Our Newsletters
    • Hey Kingston
    • New Paltz Times
    • Woodstock Times
    • Week in Review

© 2022 Ulster Publishing