Susan Slotnick: A cautionary tale for holiday eating

Susan Slotnick

Susan Slotnick

For six years I was a natural hygienist. This has nothing to do with cleaning teeth with a loofah sponge and seaweed. It is a system of eating in perfect conjunction with nature, and completely out of whack with cuisine which is important in most cultures as well as the human desire for variety in tastes.

I only consumed fresh vegetable juice, blended salad, steamed vegetables, grains, raw milk, unsalted goat cheese and uncooked almonds. That’s it!

No condiments. I did it. Not a single grain of salt made it into my gullet the entire time.


One Thanksgiving I was invited to Ujjala Schwartz’s house for dinner. She was the best epicurean cook in town. I drank blended salad and chewed on nuts while everyone else feasted. The benefits were extraordinary.

On this diet not a molecule of intestinal vapor will ever originate from you, as well as other exciting digestive processes that work like clockwork after every meal. Mind-boggling energy and strength; ideal weight; sparkling eyes, the whites pure as milk (milk is not allowed); smooth unblemished skin; not an illness, even a cold for the duration; and self-righteous superiority for as long as you can endure the diet.

Each food group requires a different digestive enzyme. So when a mishmosh of food is eaten at once, the poor enzymes all come out like a ready army, each with a particular job and only that job. Here is a short list:

  • amylase – breaks down carbs, starches and sugars
  • lactase — milk
  • diastase — vegetable starch
  • sucrase — sugars and starches
  • alpha-glactosidase — beans, legumes, seeds, roots, soy products and underground stems
  • protease — meats, nuts, eggs
  • lipase — fats found in most dairy products, nuts, oils and meat

There are many more with sub categories for each food group.

The problem is enzymes can only do their job one at a time while the food waiting to be digested putrefies in the gut causing all manner of catastrophes: digestive unease, gas, bloating, stomach ache, nausea, fatigue, constipation, bad breath, dry skin, rashes, chronic inflammation, poor sleep, low energy and illnesses.

Happy holidays!

I am inspired to write this column after I threw all caution away and ate a Thanksgiving feast with such dire results that my Facebook status for November 27 was, “If I never eat anything again, it will be too soon.” I will dispense with the details, but suffice it to say I care enough about air pollution to want to alleviate all intestinal vapors from our fair town.

Most people feel a surge of energy and naturally lose weight once they start following several simple food combining tips.

It is best to eat a monotrophic diet. Simply, one exclusive food is eaten and all others are eliminated at each meal. For example, a banana mono-diet would involve the consumption of just bananas. A watermelon mono-diet would just involve eating watermelon. Simple. Right? It’s the way horses, cows and mammals other than us naturally eat.

Fruit is a food that digests best alone.


Protein and starches do not mix

It is a common occurrence to consume a heaping serving of mashed potatoes next to a thick bottom sirloin! This is the worst food combination of all. Pizza, sandwiches and the Thanksgiving turkey with stuffing is bad, very bad, burping material.


Melons go alone

Have you ever had the misfortune of consuming watermelon after a BBQ? Most likely you experienced gas, a slight blood sugar drop and/or nausea. That is because melons are a fruit and should be eaten mono. For optimal digestion, melons should be consumed alone and on an empty stomach, so fruit salad must become a distant memory. Fruit cake with starch, fruit and dairy will cause dangerous interactions along the length of the long tube inside the body known as the alimentary canal or the gastrointestinal tract (GI tract).


Leafy greens are safe with everything

Greens are the best foods for humans. Loaded with amino acids (building blocks of protein), essential minerals and nutrients (B vitamins, magnesium, iron and more), and fiber (great for digestion), they combine well with all foods and therefore should be eaten at breakfast, lunch and dinner; blended if possible.

While fats and oils combine well with everything (except fruit, especially melons), they should be used in limited amounts as they are very caloric, dense and slow down digestion. Therefore, save your hearty meal with fat for early in the day or allow your body at least four to five hours to digest a dense lunch before eating again.

Dr. Jonn Matsen N.D. says, “In nature, it is common for animals to eat simply and usually no more than one or two foods together. Man’s diet has become over stimulating and very difficult to digest, therefore most individuals’ stomachs are in a constant state of shock.”

A stomach in a constant state of shock? Maybe so.

I see it differently. Dozens of little enzymes, each a different character, busily gearing up for an evening of relaxing pleasant work, when all of a sudden an onslaught comes down the rouge and purple pike, dumping a goulash of half chewed, jumbled up multi-colored bits of edibles! Confusion and chaos, as each little character vies for position! Yeah! I guess that’s a stomach in shock after all! Bon appetite!